Pieces of A.N.U

I write to spill the emotions of my heart and free my mind of it's thoughts. --A.N.U

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Motherless

Motherless By A.N.U
November 21, 2011

Must’ve been
Immaculate Conception
Not like Joseph and Mary
But the Womb had to be placed
On the outside
Unattached to the woman who
Gave birth to her—
Physically attached
Her nudges of love and
Readjusting movements at the
Beginning stages of this love
Had to have gone unfelt
Bonding that should begin
In the womb must’ve lacked the
Adhesiveness needed to
Keep these 2 together
Emotionally detached—

Their close distance
Had this girl feeling
That old Negro spiritual
Screaming for mama
Moaning in mental pain

Sometimes I feel
Like a motherless child
Sometimes I feel
Like a motherless child
A long way from my home

But mama is on the other
Side of this door
So shouldn’t she feel
Like home
Staggering mentally she
Awaits mama’s words to
Breathe life into her
Waiting for her spirit
To be revived when
Her vocal cords vibrate

But as she speaks
Hells gates open and
Niagara falls relocates
Salt ashes her cheeks

Her cultivating nudges of life
Replaced with kicks
Fighting to get away
From those double
Edged blades

A purple rose
In a peasant’s garden
She was planted as the
Words pronated life
From her royal stems
Slowly cutting away value
Reopening those festering
Wounds from past
Verbal castration

New trauma begins
No one had power to
Kill her like mama

Has her second
Guessing why
She was holding on to a
Relationship that
Needed to end years ago

Listening to the ration
That is was tough love
But tough love
It doesn’t
Feel like life
Draining from you
It feels more like life
Being poured into
A mothers love lost
Motherless

©2014 A.N.U All rights reserved

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Writer’s Prompt “10 Things you know for certain”

There are 10 things this struggle has solidified for me

  1. God has been the driving force in my life. The extinguisher, keeping the flames from causing burns to deep to heal.Raining down blessings when the fire began to consume me tormenting the very being of my life,. Once I lay the ambers at his feet, turning my anger and worry into determination, devotion ringing true of a Job spirit. Selah. He is making it possible to muster the strength to push my shoulders back, to show ivories through ebony, running into the crackling infernos creating a peaceful state. He is the head, I am the torso and the legs making the body work.Scientific evolution theories being dusted knowing it is God’s breath that is the reason. Belief in the poetic literature coined scripture through testimony, providing the blue print for unshaken faith. Selah.
  2. The pieces of me are made with just 3. Held in my womb to bring me whole-giving my life a purpose/Mending the voids and open wounds to produce a woman able to feel true love if only from little hearts unbruised by life/A pure love that withstands hard times and never fades with seasons
  3. Yes, Actions speak louder than words deciphering the action from mere jesters lacking  the meaning attached. Informal, relaxed encounters with pleasure senses opened doesn’t equal love. Take it at safe value. Wisdom the Psalmist stated simply and truthfully: It’s. Just. Pussy. 3 million women in the world yours may be more// fill in the blank but 3 million women—let that resonate. Friendships are an illusion of affection, easily moved to the next person making relationships a precious commodity, a sense of loyalty provided by giving self.
  4.  Peace can be still. Settling in like the midnight air, blowing in the wind fighting to kiss your skin looking to penetrate you but if your calmness fails to bring to the tranquil being you’ll miss your place. Rest in the manifestation of who you are learn who are so you can grow into who are meant to be.
  5. Life is too long. Yes, too long to hold a grudge. Living 30, 40, 50 years holding onto anger providing free rent and board to a person who can’t remember your name.  Forgive fast move on faster. Never forget the lesson-school always in session.  Learn to hold on to materials loosely, for what is given can quickly be taken. Hold onto self-tighter.
  6. Love you. No matter where you are in life, no matter what you’ve done who you’ve hurt. Learn to love you. Forgive yourself for your past and work on a better future. The fact that you can still wake up means it’s not too late.
  7. Living life is fear is too much like living among the death and I chose to live.
  8. Make a metamorphosis daily. Change is never a bad thing. Change leads to better things,   embrace your change.
  9. Experience love at least once in your life.
  10. Being only 32 this list is subject to change without notice. 

©2014 A.N.U All rights reserved

Filed under listpoem poetry ANU Lifelessons spokenword writersprompt spilledink